


She's Alex

by shes_cured



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Denied proposal, F/F, I don't know if this will be a story so for now it's just word vomit, Kara Danvers & Maggie Sawyer Friendship, Sanvers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 10:10:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11872149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shes_cured/pseuds/shes_cured
Summary: Maggie said no. She wanted to say yes to Alex's proposal so badly, but she said no, even though it killed her.Ft. Maggie hiding out in Kara's apartment.





	She's Alex

To say it was a long day would be an understatement. It was a day of Hell. She did nothing right, Snapper was permanently displeased with her, Cat was back and somehow even more demanding than she was before… so, yeah, even without remembering the fact that she just sent her boyfriend into space it was a long day, to say the very least. 

All Kara wanted to do was go home, order about four pizzas with different toppings, and sit there. Maybe if she was in a good mood she’d do something wild like text someone, but as of now she wanted to sit with her four pizzas for the night and enjoy the silence of procrastinating an article that was due.

That’s why her face fell when she opened the door to a brunette sitting on her couch looking a little too comfortable. Her feet were propped up on the wooden coffee table as the TV illuminated the dark room. When the door opened she must have heard it, but she didn’t turn to face Kara.

“Uh, _hi_?” Kara got out. 

Maggie stuck up a hand without peeling her eyes away from the television in what Kara assumed was supposed to be a wave. “Hey, Danvers.”

She thought hard on if Alex mentioned Maggie coming or if Alex planned on coming over soon too, but after a few seconds she was positive Alex hadn’t said a word. She was MIA recently, stuck in her own little world of the DEO and Maggie. There had been a distance between them lately. They were still close, they still told each other almost every aspect of their lives, but time spent together was less frequent. 

But in a way, maybe that was them being healthier. It meant Alex was gaining a life outside of caring for Kara, after all, but that didn’t stop Kara from missing their almost-daily get togethers and constant game nights and nights turning into mornings that were spent staying up late rambling about nothing. She even missed Alex’s overprotective yelling sometimes - it was very rare, but she did sometimes.

“What exactly are you doing here?” she finally asked as she took a few steps into her apartment. 

“Oh,” Maggie shrugged casually. “My TV broke.”

Well, as long as it was a logical answer.

“Your TV… broke?”

“Yup.”

“So, you came here? To my apartment? And not Alex’s?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m here,” she confirmed as if this wasn’t the most unexpected part of Kara’s entire month so far.

She tilted her head, squinting her eyes as she tried to figure this situation out. As far as she was concerned, her and Maggie were civil. She was her sister's girlfriend, they had a weird competitive relationship and they didn't bond, so either Alex was coming or she missed a memo.

“Is my sister aware that you’re here?”

Maggie finally looked over to the younger Danvers, giving a sly smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

That actually took Kara for a loop. As far as she was concerned, Alex and Maggie told each other a little too much. It was fine if Maggie knew everything about Alex, but she knew her sister was pretty chatty with her. She therefore knew Maggie knew quite a few things about Kara that she’d rather her not. Hell, Alex nearly had a panic attack when she told Winn about her powers and Maggie found out after half a second of dating. Alex had very few weaknesses in her life, but one of them was definitely Maggie Sawyer.

“Is everything okay with you two?”

“Everything is fine,” she promised, turning back to the TV and swiftly changing the subject. “You don’t have much food in here, you know?”

Kara rolled her eyes at that. “My apologies, I wasn’t expecting visitors.”

“You literally only have relish, two eggs and grapes in your refrigerator - which is weird considering I’ve never seen you eat fruit.”

“Yeah, those are for appearances when Alex comes over,” she admitted. 

“C’mon,” Maggie patted her seat as credits came onto the TV and she pressed for the next episode to start. “I’m watching Grey’s Anatomy and this girl could be Alex, I swear to God.”

She scoffed a little, raising her eyebrows in surprise. “I never pegged you as a Grey’s Anatomy type of girl.”

“It has lesbians in it, so I’m sold,” Maggie explained as if it was a simple concept. 

“You watch a show just because it has lesbians in it?”

The foreigner in her apartment looked to Kara with a questioning look. “Duh. It’s what us gays do. We’ll teach you about gay culture yet, don't worry.”

Kara laughed a little, knowing she would never understand what that was about. She sat down beside her sister’s girlfriend while she waited for her pizzas, leaning back and watching TV with her in a pitch black room and complete disbelief that she was actually about to watch a drama with Maggie, of all people. 

“Alright, brace yourself for a doppelgänger.” 

Kara fought rolling her eyes for a second time. “No one can look like Alex. She’s one of a kind.”

She watched as some innocent, doe eyed intern came on the screen looking lost as ever and Maggie quickly started pointing. “You cannot tell me you don’t see the resemblance.”

“Seriously?” Kara looked over unimpressed. “Maggie, she looks like an insecure teenager.”

“And she’s grown into our little Alex,” Maggie said proudly as if it were a real life transformation instead of a character on a TV show. “Much more badass, if you ask me. Who needs a surgeon when you have a DEO agent?“

“Okay, right,” Kara shook her head as if Maggie wasn’t having a psychotic break. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I thought it was a risky move coming over, to be honest,” Maggie shook her head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Alex has a TV,” she repeated one of her previously noted points. 

Maggie didn’t acknowledge the statement. Alex hadn’t called, so Kara assumed they were on good terms, but at this point she had to ask.

“Are you in a fight?”

“Kara,” she groaned, turning to the young girl beside her. “We aren’t fighting. Alex and I are golden, I just needed to watch Grey’s Anatomy.”

“And you couldn’t watch it with her because…?”

She didn’t answer, still staring at the TV with a calm expression on her face. “It’s a guilty pleasure. Alex and I aren't on that level yet.”

“So, you don’t mind if I call her really quick then?” Kara asked, suddenly not quite believing this story, mostly due to the fact that Maggie didn’t have guilty pleasures because she was one-hundred percent certain that Maggie didn’t get embarrassed over things as petty as TV shows.

“Go ahead,” she waved.

She almost stopped, but she figured she’d try to call the bluff. “Alright, I’ll make it quick.”

She typed memorized numbers into her phone, the sound of her dialing them interfering with the show. She skipped pressing call, but held the phone up to her ear regardless. As she mostly expected, Maggie tore it out of her hand, her eyes darkening when she saw there was no need to hang up. “Fuck you, Danvers.”

“Back at you, Detective,” Kara smirked at her win. Maggie wasn’t the only one who could sense when things were off. “What’s going on?”

“I should go,” she shot up off the couch. “Thanks for the fun time, though. Truly.”

Kara shook her head, standing up as well and blocking Maggie’s quick attempt at an exit. “Why are you fighting?”

“Look, if Alex hasn’t told you by now-“

“By now?” Kara asked incredulously. “How long have you been fighting?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Maggie shot out defensively. “I just wanted somewhere to hide - she’d never look at your place if she was trying to find _me_ \- but hiding is for wimps, anyway. I’ll see ya around.”

She let out a dry laugh, once again stepping in front of Maggie. She was pretty fast when she wanted to be, but Kara had a question for both Maggie and herself that she needed answered. “What happened that Alex wouldn’t tell me?”

“You’re really going to hold me hostage?” 

“If I have to,” Kara confirmed.

Maggie shrugged, going back to the couch and watching her show again. It was her turn to be stubborn. “Fine by me. I watch people avoid interrogations for a living, you don’t scare me.”

“Good, I’m glad.” 

Kara grabbed the remote, flipping off the TV and turning on lights in the house. There was a knock at the door and Kara took the money off the counter. After taking the pizzas, she just smiled at the delivery man. “Keep the change.”

“Thanks,” the guy mumbled with a smile, walking away just as quickly as he came. 

Maggie looked up as Kara came back. She clearly had a witty remark regarding the sight of Kara bringing four pizzas into her apartment for, what she planned to be, just herself, but her stubbornness held firm and she stayed quiet. 

The younger girl went over by Maggie, tapping her legs to get her to put her feet off the coffee table and onto the floor. She laid the pizzas out, opening a veggie one, then cheese, then placing a sausage and pepperoni one on the floor and another plain sausage pizza next to that one. 

Maggie went to reach for a slice, but Kara was quick to swat her hand away. “My pizza is reserved for people who tell me things I need to know.”

“You don’t really _need_ to know, though,” Maggie argued.

Kara gave her a forceful look, not willing to go along with that. “It’s about Alex. I need to know.”

“So, you’re going to hold me hostage, take away my TV show  _and_ starve me?” she questioned. “This is illegal.”

“Arrest me,” Kara shrugged, knowing that Maggie wouldn’t dare. 

It didn’t matter what was going on with her and Alex. She knew enough to know that she wouldn't arrest her just for shutting off Grey’s Anatomy and not sharing pizza. 

That left silence. Kara ate her greasy, delicious food slice by slice while Maggie pouted and stared at a black TV beside her. 

Finally, in the smallest and croakiest voice she’d heard from anyone, never mind Maggie Sawyer, the silence was broken. “She… proposed to me.”

Coughing filled the room as Kara choked a little, but when she recovered her eyes were wide. “Wait, _what_?” 

“Three days ago,” Maggie nodded. “After the thing with Mon-El. I had a feeling she hadn’t told you. She’s been dropping by my apartment and I couldn’t exactly hide in _her_ apartment and she knows my usual bars and she knows where I work, but here?” Maggie stared downwards looking like she was crumbling by the second as she tried to smile. “Hiding in plain sight, right?”

Slowly, Kara put the pieces together. Alex proposed. Now Maggie was hiding from her. Like, _seriously_ hiding from her, in well thought out places. 

“You said no?” 

There were no words spoken. There was no nod. There was no shake of the head. There was just Maggie burying her face in her hands.

“I had to, Kara,” she spoke painfully and hopelessly, keeping herself hunched over with her hands covering her face and voice muffled behind them. “I had to. I wanted to say yes so badly, but I swear, I had to.”

Again, there was a loss of words as Kara placed a soft, timid hand on Maggie’s back despite being unsure of if she should or how to comfort a girl that she didn't imagine would ever need comforting. “Why’d you say no?”

“Because she’s _Alex_ ,” she emphasized as if that was all there was to it. She took a deep breath, taking her head out of her hands to look up at her (ex?) girlfriend’s sister. “She’s a badass DEO agent,” Maggie repeated her words from earlier, this time with complete sorrow in her voice.

Kara gulped as tears came to the girl’s eyes, not knowing how to even begin to support someone as tough as Maggie. She figured she must have a soft side around Alex, but, to be honest, Kara had never expected to see it with her own eyes.

“I’m just me, Kara. I’m broken. I’m flawed. I have a shitty past and I have nothing to offer her that she doesn't already have. I mean - how can I, right? She’s _Alex_.” 

“Trust me, no one wants what’s best for my sister more than me - and probably you,” Kara added on when she received an extremely annoyed look, “but she’s crazy about you for a reason."

"Do you remember when that guy asked who she'd choose if she had to pick between us?"

"He was egging you on, Maggie," Kara didn't allow herself to think about the question that she had thought about quite a few times since that day. "He was trying to get under your skin."

Maggie ignored that, speaking the truth bluntly. "It'd be you."

The blonde haired girl looked down, eating another bite of pizza. She was unsure of who it'd be if it ever came down to it. She hoped it would be her, but would it be?

"You don't like me," Maggie threw out the bold claim confidently. "And if she has to choose, it'll be you every time."

"I don't not like you, we just clash sometimes," Kara tried to reason.

She honestly did like Maggie, that wasn't why they fought so much, she just wasn't used to living a life without Alex being instantly available to her.

"Plus, even if I hated you," Kara continued. "I'd never make her decide that. The decision would break her because she adores you, Maggie. She’s never been like this. Ever. About anyone.”

“I know,” she sniffed, wiping quick tears away. “I wish that changed things, but at the end of the day, I’m not good enough for her and maybe I never will be. I can't bring her down like that if I know I can avoid it.”

Kara scoffed at the word choice. “You seriously believe you bring her down?”

Maggie’s eyes fluttered to the floor before looking back to Kara as if she were hurt by something that hadn’t even happened yet. “Maybe I haven’t so far, but eventually I would. It's what I do.”

“Maggie-“

“Yeah,” she nodded, standing up off the couch. “That’s the issue, right there. I’m Maggie. She's _Alex_.”

The insecure side of Maggie was new to Kara and she didn’t know how to handle it. She wanted to be angry with her for making Alex go through whatever she was going through, but she also wanted to hug her. She was a hero. She saved people. It came naturally. But it was a lot harder to save people from themselves than from someone else, and right now Maggie desperately needed saving from herself. 

“She loves you.”

Again, Maggie ran her fingers along her cheeks to stop trails of water. “I know. Why do you think this hurts me so much?” 

Watching her walk towards the door, Kara sighed and called her back. “Maggie.”

“I can’t do this,” the dark haired girl pleaded when she turned around. “Please, don’t elongate this conversation. I literally _can't_.”

“Watch Grey’s Anatomy,” she gave in, not pushing her any further. “I have an article to write, anyway.”

“You’re sure?” Maggie asked, not able to hide that she was a little taken aback by the offer. 

Kara got up off the couch, grabbing her things and stepping away. “No. But I do know what it’s like to need a place to hide.”

“Are you gonna call Alex?”

“First thing tomorrow,” Kara sternly confirmed, giving her a warning in advance. “Use the night wisely, because I’m only doing this once.”

Maggie stared, but eventually took a step closer and went in for an awkward, but very thankful hug. “I owe you, Kara.”

“You do,” she laughed, grabbing the remote off the table and handing it back. “I’ll be back there if you need me. You can have have the rest of the pizza, you need it more than me.”

Kara waltzed out of the room, hearing the volume of the TV through the house again. She knew Alex would be pissed, but it felt like the right thing. She turned off her phone to stop her from any temptations of calling her sister and opened her laptop to focus on work. Still, the hurt was there. 

Alex had proposed. Alex had been hurting because she was turned down. Lastly, Alex didn't tell her a word about it, despite how they've spoken numerous times in the past three days.

Things had definitely changed in the past few months. Kara was still hoping that it was in a good way. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure exactly what this is, but here whatever this is is.


End file.
